


Detest

by xxELF21xx



Category: Kekkaishi
Genre: In which Sen detests himself for "liking" a person like Gen, Multi, crappy, realllllll crappy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-06-03
Updated: 2015-06-03
Packaged: 2018-04-02 16:01:35
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,437
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4066015
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/xxELF21xx/pseuds/xxELF21xx
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Stuck in the castle of the enemy, Sen wonders. Why does he care so much for Sumimura? Because he acts like Shishio? Because Sumimura has a plot for revenge? Because Sen was a dumbass?</p><p>The third option, most likely.</p><p>And Sen begins to compare, as well as think back on a few things, Shishio Gen and Sumimura Yoshimori.</p><p>And Sen finds himself absorbed in a world where the two are the same person; all while being stuck in a cobweb -how embarrassing.</p><p>And goodness gracious; does Sen hate the both of them all the same.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Detest

**Author's Note:**

> It gets draggy, I'm warning you. Um, are there triggers? I dunno. I'm not sure.

NORMALLY, being stuck in an underground cell of a crumbling castle does nothing to scare Sen. Normally.

But, being with Sumimura  _hurts,_ because the idiot is so much like Shishio. So, so, much. Sen feels a suffocation clogging his heart as he listens to the castle crumble.

_Crumble, crumble, crumble, like my heart has. Crumble, crumble, crumble, like how we pass on._

Sen wonders why he fell for the spiky haired boy. A boy named Shishio Gen; who saw only the Chief and Atora in his world. Who ignored Sen's cries of "stop being a hero" and "you are not immortal". And lastly, all the "I love you"s that Sen has told Gen so many times. During the fight with the Canyon Monster; Sen said it, in a subtle manner. He watched in horror as Gen charged on anyway. Gen did not care for the panic. He only cared for his responsibilities. And it hurts so much, because Sen can only be a burden. Sen will not be a complete lovesick fool and sacrifice himself; no. 

But he tries all his best to stop Gen. The talk of Gen not being immortal, of staying by Sen's side and be safe and everything else failed. Failed when Sen saw Gen's back, again.

Strong, sturdy, defiable stance, commander, out of control, adorable, flustered. That is Gen. And Sen? He cannot say anything. Anything but: useless, burden, bastard, coward, good-for-nothing, absolute trash, and lastly; anger-fueled.

Sen and Gen are different in many ways which Sen detests. Sen detests Gen. For leaving, for making Atora cry, for making Chief look so crestfallen, for having to make Sen stare at the clouds and have nothing to curse at the already dead ayakashi majiri. Sen does his best to tune in, to whatever he is supposed to do, but he stays out of focus. Forever out of focus, with no one to make fun of; no one to love.

Sen has no one. His friends will one day die. Like him; and he has no one he can curse to the sky for. They are not worthy.

Sen thinks, why did he get captured? 'Cause he didn't hide well enough. Why did he care so much for Sumimura when he saw the other boy writhe; hatred and concern present. Why did Sen cry out and shut his eyes and shun the world when he felt blood leaving his body. He will heal. Why does he worry that he will, once again, have to see Gen's back as Gen fights, and fights, and fights; to complete the job. To protect. To eliminate. To relieve hatred. 

And Sen realises, Gen and Yoshimori are similar. So similar that Sen shivers. Their stance, goal, mindset, thrive, power. All the same.

Gen had speed. Yoshimori's speed is honed. 

Gen protects by destroying. Yoshimori protects by eliminating.

Gen's goal was to complete tasks. Yoshimori's goal was to kill off Kaguro and protect the Yukimura girl. 

Gen has a mindset; don't get attached, do as told, control yourself, protect Karasumori and the Kekkaishi. Yoshimori wants to keep everyone safe, wants to protect, wants to improve, wants to find Kaguro, wants to make it out alive.

Gen has the power of a wolf type ayakashi. Yoshimori has an immense amount of power. 

Gen thrives to keep control, and complete his tasks. Yoshimori thrives for everything else.

Why does Sen feel so utterly useless when it comes to those two? 

He wants, needs, wants, to punch those two in the face. Because Sen is such a dumbass. He should've known better than to follow.

And he shudders. Because they're so similar. So, so, alike. Chief cares for them, once they find their target; they go all in. Sen holds back a curse.

He cannot get out. Out of this cobweb, out of this damned place, and; he can't get out of the complicated maze of words he has made himself. Of Gen and Sumimura. And he detests Gen, so much, for ignoring his pleas and cries late at night. Because Gen has left him and his heart. And Yoshimori just had to make Sen want to cry at the loss of Gen.

WHEN Yoshikmori broke down the wall; Sen's breath caught. Because, to the gods above, it were as if Gen himself came. But he saw Sumimura; and it were as if Gen resided in Sumimura now; and Sen wanted to bawl his eyes out, instead, he puts on a brave front.

Because he is so broken, and tired, and amazed at his own stupidity.

Sen feels an awkward amazement at the power Sumimura has; the power of an idiot. He wasted his energy- wanted to be of help. Wanted, wanted, wanted. And he throws a ruckus. He would continue; but Sumimura was gone.

And he compares along the way. 

Gen forgets details like Sumimura. Gen has a tendency to dislike crying. Gen tries to save everyone. Gen wants no one but him to be injured. And Sen feels ragged and torn down. Because Yoshimori is all of those. He leans somewhere, catches his breath, and pulls away. From Gen, the support, Yoshimori, and his heart. Sen dwells on the fact that sometimes, he just had to be an idiot. Gen and Yoshimori, they are something else entirely.

And damnit, those two will drive Sen insane with their speed. Who the hell makes squares this fast? Scrap that,  _who taught Sumimura to do that?_ Sen bets the Chief did.  _  
_

In the end, the Sumimuras are all the same.

'WAKE up!' Sen desperately tries to wake the sleeping, please not be dead, Yoshimori up. Outside, Chief looks pretty darn concerned and trying his best to zekkai his way in to slap Yoshimori awake and perhaps, maybe, throw him down the air.

Because Sen feels like doing just that.

Sen tries to feel how being in the front line is like, where you face the enemy's face, not your comrade's back. It was terrifying. But Sen does not care. He wished to die, to join Gen; and beat the living daylights out of the bloody idiot. Although, Sen thinks that Gen died without a drop of the red substance on him. 

And once again, Sen has done the most idiotic thing ever. Use the enemy's weapon against the enemy. Really, Sen deserves an award for being an idiot. Once again, he risks his comrade's life to save his own hide. 

Sen desperately tries to shake him awake. Please, please, please. 'Wake up!' He tries. Chief is losing the fight. 

And he sees the Yukimura girl jump in. 'Wake up!'

'YOSHIMORI!' Yukimura shouts, fingers outstretched. Wake up! The world, Sen thinks, is full of bullshit. 'Tokine. . .' Sumimura reaches for the fingers, eyes glazed over. Chief then breaks the zekkai. Is it all. . . over. . . . ?

No, it isn't. Because the other boy is not yet awake. Not yet. Panic rises in Sen's chest. Is this, this feeling, what Yoshimori went through when Gen was dying? It sure felt like it. Panic, wake up, panic, wake up, panic, wake up please, panic, Chief looks so done with your fainting patterns, Yoshimori. Is this normal? Yoshimori, Chief looks like he's gonna go all in and slap you. Wake UP!

Sen feels a sort of relief when the other wakes. Though, Yoshimori isn't. He looks distorted. And Sen thinks, Gen and Sumimura are similar, and it makes Sen shudder and want to run and punch them both. But he stays silent. 

THEY make it out. And Yoshimori gets slapped. Yukimura looked downright upset.

As the banter goes on, Sen smiles a little. 

_Maybe, just maybe, Gen and Sumimura are very similar. And it isn't shudder-worthy._

**_It's been a long day,_ **

**_Without you, my friend._ **

**_And I'll tell you all about it,_ **

**_When I see you again._ **

**_We've come a long way,_ **

**_From where we began._ **

**_And I'll tell you all about it,_ **

**_When I see you again._ **

Sen thinks again, maybe, just maybe. If Gen were alive; Gen and Sumimura would hold Sen's heart. Sen detests Gen for doing this to him. He detests it. Absolutely.

**How can we not talk about family,**

**When family's all that we got?**

Sen finds a solace in those two. To Sen, Yoshimori is a link between Sen and Gen.

And Sen's fine with it. Because, after all, they are very similar. So similar, Sen feels like punching them. And Sen's heart has a suffocation because of it. 

 

 

> _Who's gonna help our souls tonight?_

Sen feels as though he has someone else to make fun of. But he cannot be sure. Not yet.

 

**Author's Note:**

> What happens when you rewatch Kekkaishi, and listen to "See You Again", "Help Our Souls", "Unravel", and "Monochrome Blue Sky". Lots of ideas come to mind. If they trigger anything, throw it right back at me.
> 
>  
> 
> Can be treated as Sen/Gen or Sen/Yoshimori. Writing this because, honest to Uro-sama, there aren't enough fanfictions about Kekkaishi.
> 
> And I am mad.
> 
> 24 works for this manga/anime. SERIOUSLY?!?!?!?!?!
> 
> Okay, more coming up. Once I get my lazy bum to write more. And after my homework.  
> Un-beta'd. Mistakes, please point out.


End file.
